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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29241699">Paths Intertwined</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Rising_Phoenix/pseuds/The_Rising_Phoenix'>The_Rising_Phoenix</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Asexuality Spectrum, Break Up, Confessions, Consent, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Dark, Dating, Depression, Drama, Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, Falling In Love, Feelings, Female Characters, Female Relationships, Fights, Fix-It, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, LGBTQ Themes, Language, Love, Making Out, Misunderstandings, Mythical Beings &amp; Creatures, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protectiveness, Secrets, Self-Esteem, Sexual Inexperience, Slow Build, Teasing, Tension, Trauma, Triggers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:22:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,057</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29241699</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Rising_Phoenix/pseuds/The_Rising_Phoenix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A mysterious disappearance of one, the possible death of another, and a return of good and evil. After an event that only three people know about, one finally plays the cards they’re dealt. Options are few and not in her favor. But the mission will always come first: To Protect. RATED M - PLEASE READ ALL TAGS AND TAGS IN NOTES!<br/>Genre: Drama/Romance, Angst. Hurt/Comfort</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aino Minako/Hino Rei, Kino Makoto &amp; Tsukino Usagi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazekaitou/gifts">Kazekaitou</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Firstly, I want to thank the AMAZING Kazekaitou who has been a FANTASTIC support throughout this ENTIRE work. She is always there for my fic related craziness, and I would NOT be writing the way I am without her. She's also willing to be my beta as I slowly post chapters sporadically. But she can confirm this story IS complete! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!</p><p>I'm very proud and impressed that I have been able to write a whole story in pretty short time. That hans't happened before I feel, not to this degree.</p><p>Secondly, this story is fast moving, but HEAVY. Please read ALL tags and warnings.</p><p>ADDITIONAL WARNINGS:<br/>Implications of past trauma to character, nothing active/graphically depicted),<br/>Sexual content (described/moderate, but imo nothing too graphic).</p><p>Original Title; Drinks Between Strangers</p><p>OC Character (See my work "Senshi of the Sun" as well).<br/>Kokoro Sato (Co-created with Kazekaitou.<br/>She is known as Sailor Phoenix and has powers of the mythical songbird (even at times in her civilian form).<br/>She is the resident therapist to the Senshi only, because they need to process all they’ve experienced as Senshi, and Kokoro understands.</p><p>History: Kokoro coexisted with Queen Serenity, and they were close friends and allies, with zero competition for the galaxy. She was present in the Silver Millenium, but was only ever called when needed, similar to Saturn. She is the Senshi of, and Queen of the Sun. (I'm aware of Helios, don't worry).</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CHAPTER #1 - </p><p>Clubs and bars weren't necessarily Makoto’s scene, but today she didn’t care. She needed something different.</p><p>She’s known she was at least bi when she started dating Usagi. When Usagi disappeared, it took her a solid 5 years until she could open her heart and actually try to date again at the behest of the other girls. </p><p>She wasn’t sure it was possible, because that’s how much losing Usagi meant to her. That’s how much losing Usagi hurt. </p><p>Motoki lasted about a year and was the relationship she regretted. She knew that Motoki knew going in, that Makoto’s heart may not have been in it entirely. She wanted her heart to be in it, and part of it certainly was. He’d been there for her for all the difficult moments. But somewhere, deep inside of her, she had promised her heart to Usagi. She and Motoki would have been very, very happy together. That was why she regretted it. He was the best thing that’s happened to her <em> since </em> Usagi. While she appreciated that, it hurt her; him, and both of them together that she wasn’t involved emotionally like she tried and wanted to be.</p><p>After Motoki, Makoto found herself aimless again. Motoki always kept an eye out for her, just in case she spiraled out somewhere, a thunderstorm into a tornado. Any relationship after Motoki fetl much more like, a game of pretend, the motions of dating projected from the void left behind when Usagi had gone. </p><p>She didn’t even want to try to date, she just wanted to feel something. </p><p>Which is why she pushed open the wooden door to the bar and walked inside. The music was fast, but not too loud, a space set up for a bit of flirting and intimacy, nice cozy corners tucked in between larger dancing spaces.</p><p>Makoto searched around. She drew plenty of attraction and attention from plenty of other women, but nothing or no one that caught her eye. Except for one: a single redhead nursing a drink with an empty seat next to her. The women had short curly hair that fell into her eyes just so, sunken eyes, high cheekbones, and a thin frame. Makoto assumed she often got mistaken for a small man, not that she’d look like she’d bother to correct anyone on the matter.</p><p>She’s honestly not sure <em> why </em> this woman suited her fancy, but she did. Shrugging to herself, Makoto moved forward. “This seat taken?” </p><p>“Nope. Go for it.” Replied the redhead, sullen and staring into her drink as if it were a crystal ball or witch’s cauldron.</p><p>“Hey Mako! What are you doing here?” Smiled Kokoro, who was bartending that night, and an old friend. She beamed a bright smile, while wiping the bar in front of them both. Perhaps Kokoro looked out of place in the bar, long wavy hair flowing around her, a bright reddish orange so striking, even in the dim light. But she bartended well and it was part of the charm of this place.</p><p>Makoto shrugged. “Figured I could use a change of scenery...And perhaps take your advice. ‘Ruka &amp; Michi are always saying I should come here once; and it is one of their favorite spots,”</p><p>“Glad you came. What can I get you?”</p><p>Makoto glanced toward the redhead. “I’ll have whatever she’s having.”</p><p>“Excellent. One house sangria coming up.”</p><p>“Good taste.” Makoto said to the redhead.</p><p>“Thanks.” Murmured the woman more into her drink than to Makoto.</p><p>“What brings you here? I feel like I've seen you around town.” </p><p>The woman (who at the right angles <em> still </em> looked like she could be in her young 20s) looked up at her, Makoto was caught by dark eyes on a pale face. “I come and go...Bit of a hermit. But, I guess like you, I needed something else?”</p><p>Kokoro served Makoto’s drink. “So, what’s your name?”</p><p>“No offense, but you could talk to <em> any </em> other woman here, who holds <em> much </em> more attraction or personality interest than I do. So, why are you talking to me?” The woman looked back down.</p><p>“I’ve got this one..” Kokoro replied sort of humorously at Makoto’s surprised face “Because she’s really good at seeing those who need a friend, and she doesn't even <em> know </em> she does it. That about sum it up, Makoto?”</p><p>“Um…” Makoto could only blush because Kokoro was 1,000% right with <em> everything </em>. (Not that Makoto thought of herself that way). No one has ever quite told her that either, until now. But, for some reason the statement got the woman’s attention, because she looked back up.</p><p>“Thanks, but to be honest I’m not looking for friends.”</p><p>“Liar.”</p><p>“Kokoro...” The still nameless woman said tiredly, taking a rather large sip of her drink.</p><p>‘Not <em> this </em> conversation <em> again’ </em> was written all over her features.</p><p>Kokoro knew that this woman <em> didn’t </em> trust anyone; it was basically her entire modus operandi. The redhead started coming into her bar once a week, about 3-4hrs at a time. Once a week had settled into twice. This was the first time Kokoro saw her for a third time in a single week. </p><p>From what Kokoro had gleaned from the little the redhead had said, she never truly settled in one spot and was often on the move.</p><p>But she came to Tokyo for a reason. </p><p>She hid her reasons, and hid herself, both literally and in plain sight.</p><p>“You’ve been here, not often but when you do, you get the same thing, and you don’t <em> interact </em> . You barely interact, even with <em> me </em> . I’ve observed a <em> lot </em> in this bar. You go unnoticed, which is exactly how you want it. But your eyes convey great loneliness. <em> Interact </em> with Makoto. She’s perfect for you to have that gentle push; to trust <em> someone </em>.’</p><p>The woman glared hard at Kokoro. “No. I don’t trust <em> anyone </em>.”</p><p>“I know. Which is why I’m telling you that you can <em> trust </em> Makoto.”</p><p>“Are you trying to set us up? Just so we end up in bed?” The woman asked.</p><p>Kokoro secretly adored the redhead’s bluntness and hoped Makoto would too. “Of course not. You know that’s not what I do. If I comment at all about who hooks up with who, it's to make sure everyone is safe and that no one gets into a bad spat or relationship because they sleep together after a night of drinking. I know everyone in this bar, and it’s all the new faces I vet.”</p><p>“Why <em> are </em> you doing this?”</p><p>“Kokoro, if she--” Makoto wasn’t sure what was happening, and when interrupted, just took a sip and watched the two.</p><p>“Because <em> Rin </em>, it’s not good to be so alone like this.”</p><p>“What if we were to hook up? What if it would make me feel worse?”</p><p>“I can guarantee you, Makoto is not the type of person who would have you go through something, nor would she put herself through something, if either of you would end up worse for it the next day. She is very very good about boundaries.”</p><p>“Maybe you should learn a thing or two.” Rin muttered.</p><p>Makoto almost laughed, but managed to raise an eyebrow towards Kokoro instead. That didn't mean she could keep the smile off of her face though either.</p><p>Kokoro merely chuckled with a knowing look in her eyes. “<em> And </em> , sometimes, yes, sex is just sex. <em> But </em> sometimes it is comfort, <em> sometimes </em> it is more…”</p><p>“What?” Rin asked as Kokoro trailed off. Rin finally looked surprised, and damn it was adorable.</p><p>“And sometimes it can even be love.”</p><p>Rin scoffed, even looking a bit incredulous. “A one-night-stand? Really Kokoro? I think the pot smoke has gone to your head over the last few months…”</p><p>“Not necessarily with one-night-stands Rin. But I’m not saying it's impossible. Nothing is impossible. What I’m saying is love <em> could </em> develop.”</p><p>“Do you seriously have any research to back that up? Like ‘<em> How Many One Night Stands Wind Up In Love? </em>’”</p><p>“Rin, you’re missing my point. No matter what happens tonight, you might just make a much needed friend, even <em> if </em> you’re not looking to make any, and you deny wanting any.”</p><p>Before Rin could reply, Kokoro smiled and walked away, leaving Rin to sigh.</p><p>Makoto wasn’t necessarily any more comfortable either, but saw how Rin chewed her inner cheek, seriously taking into consideration Kokoro’s words.</p><p>“Sorry...About her; about me. My name is Rin.” Rin made little eye contact out of the corner of her eye and did not extend her hand.</p><p>Makoto smiled, lifted her glass as if in a toast. “Nice to meet you.”</p><p>“Look uh...I’m not much of a talker. Ask Kokoro.”</p><p>“So I’ve noticed. Being as you don’t trust anyone, would you want to ask me questions?”</p><p>“I feel like you’re only doing this because Kokoro practically said to. Kokoro, can I get another?” Rin yelled across the bar, after downing the rest of her drink.</p><p>“I”d say you’ve already had too many and I’m cutting you off--”</p><p>“This is only my second drink!”</p><p>Kokoro made her way towards them as she answered. “And you’re lucky I serve you at all with how you glare at other patrons and sulk in the corners. But the drinks seem to help a <em> tad </em>.”  </p><p>“Did you hear that, Makoto? Kokoro’s encouraging me to drink.”</p><p>“<em>Rin </em>.” Kokoro glared, annoyed.</p><p>Rin gave the softest of smiles. “And you say I never have any fun.”</p><p>Makoto burst out laughing. <em> “Good find </em>, Kokoro!  I’ll gladly be friends with anyone who gets under your skin.”</p><p>“Careful Mako…” Kokoro warned.</p><p>“You love me.”</p><p>“Not at this second.” Kokoro teased, before leaving the two again.</p><p>“So...You doing this because she practically said we had to?”</p><p>“No. I probably would have asked anyway, to be honest.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Sorry to disappoint.” Makoto flashed a smile.</p><p>Rin snorted despite herself.</p><p>“So, the offer still stands. Do you want to ask me questions?”</p><p>“What brings you here?”</p><p>“Meh. To be honest, and this has <em> nothing </em> to do with what Kokoro said, I <em> was </em> kind of looking for a hookup.”</p><p>“Really?” Rin looked bewildered, and Makoto instinctively started to apologize.  “Sorry.” </p><p>Rin shook her head, “No judgement here, despite what I said earlier. Kokoro...She’s just too damn hopeful for me sometimes.”</p><p>“She’s like that with everyone. Especially when she cares.”</p><p>“She’s barking up the wrong tree then.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Makoto took a cautious glance at Rin before sipping her drink.</p><p>“You say she does that for people she cares for? Why me?”</p><p>“My guess? You’ve grown on her.”</p><p>“Great. But she’s making a mistake.”</p><p>“Is she? I’ve known Kokoro for years. She is a <em> fantastic </em> judge of character.”</p><p>Rin scoffed. “No. Just..No.”</p><p>“Does she know anymore about you than I do?”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“So...Can I ask why you’re here, why you’re really here?”</p><p>“I told you--”</p><p>“No...You merely repeated my first answer. I told you the real reason I was here. Your turn.”</p><p>“I didn’t think this was 20 questions.”</p><p>“We’re only at two--”</p><p>“Three.”</p><p>Makoto shook her head, smiled, and internally rolled her eyes.</p><p>Rin sighed. “Real Answer: I have no life. So I’m attempting to not drown my sorrows in alcohol…Well, considering who the bartender is, I just like to pretend that's what I’m doing. It also helps keep people away when you pretend to be lost in the bottle.”</p><p>“Kokoro is really good about cutting customers off when one needs.”</p><p>“She’s cut me off after one.” It was a grumble, and somehow cute.</p><p>“She has <em> not </em>…” Makoto said in disbelief.</p><p>“She has. Except that time was just a <em> very </em> bad night.” </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It doesn't help that I’m a lightweight. But the first, of maybe two times, I had 5. I tend to walk home, but she called me a cab and had one of her friends to make sure I got home safely. Usually, she’ll let me average about 3 drinks at the most.”</p><p>“You’re only on two, that's good.”</p><p>Rin cast a glance towards Makoto; it wasn’t readable but Rin also didn’t verbally elaborate.</p><p>“You like to pretend you’re lost in the bottle--to keep people away. You’re protecting yourself aren’t you?”</p><p>Rin shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not.”</p><p>“What makes you say that?”</p><p>“The only one who can protect me is me.”</p><p>“No friends, no family to help protect you?”</p><p>“I’m an adult. Gotta protect myself.”</p><p>“That’s not a no.”</p><p>Rin finally turned and fully glared at the taller woman. “No. I’ve got no one.”</p><p>Makoto didn’t need to ask why; it was written all over her face.</p><p>“How’d you manage to get more out of me in 10 minutes than Kokoro has in the three months I’ve been at this place, with she keeping me (or me keeping her) company that I didn’t want?”</p><p>“I don’t know but if you take a look at Kokoro, she’s staring at us, as if to ask the same exact question.” Makoto grinned.</p><p>“Wonder what prank I can pull on her tonight.”</p><p>“What?” Makoto asked, half thrown off by the statement, and half in surprise.</p><p>“I pull minor, harmless pranks on her. Mostly to just cause her inconvenience. But they are fun.”</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“Duct taped the coasters to the bar. I also had the other bartenders help me out on that one. She was <em> so </em> annoyed. It was pretty brilliant, if I do say so myself. Another time, I dyed all the white cloth napkins deep red with food coloring; just so she’d have to explain why the change and work extra hard to see if she can even get it out.” </p><p>“Oh, I’d <em> LOVE </em> to have seen both of those reactions!”</p><p>“Gotta find my humor somewhere. But I can’t show you. I swore to her on my life (she made me) that I wouldn’t put it on social media, or share them with anyone else. Besides, she only <em> thinks </em> I deleted them.”</p><p>Makoto honestly looked like a kid in a candy store, all wide-eyed and all but drooling at the anticipation of one day watching these videos.</p><p>“I left.” Rin sighed; half begurding that she found herself opening up so damn easily <em> or </em>quickly to this woman, who was a total and complete stranger.</p><p>“What?” Makoto was definitely thrown off by the sudden, sharp turn at not only the conversation took, but Rin’s tone of voice.</p><p>“For why I don’t have anyone to help protect me; for why I don’t want to, and can’t rely on anyone: because I left.”</p><p>“What for?” Makoto asked.</p><p>“I made some choices and some mistakes. Some I don’t want to take back; others I can’t...And others still, I just don't know how to fix?”</p><p>“Do you feel like you don’t deserve to be cared for; protected?”</p><p>Rin shrugged, drinking about half of her drink. </p><p>“Almost everyone deserves to be protected, Rin.”</p><p>“I’m the <em> ‘almost</em>.’’”</p><p>“Highly doubtful. But I digress--”</p><p>Rin down the rest of her drink. “I wouldn't doubt. Not when the mistakes were so great that...” Rin shook her head, scoffing at herself. “Kokoro?! Another one?”</p><p>Kokoro arched an eyebrow before glancing towards Makoto with both eyebrows raised. </p><p>“This is three. No more tonight after this.” She said.</p><p>“I can hold my liquor.”</p><p>“No you can’t; not really. I give it 10 more minutes for the alcohol to settle into your system and you start slurring your words. Mako, you want a 2nd?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“Same thing?”</p><p>“Please.”</p><p>Kokoro slid the drink over to her, taking a cautious look towards both of them before tending to the opposite side of the bar.</p><p>“What of those mistakes? So great that what?” Makoto asked, curious as she encouraged Rin to finish both her sentence and her thought process.</p><p>“What if the mistakes were so great, that they were unforgivable?” Makoto could barely even hear her.</p><p>“Short of innocent murder, potential infidelity on a loved one with one of their loved ones, and other, more unspeakable crimes, anything less than those things are all forgivable.”</p><p>“I wouldn't be so sure. Look...I’m running from my own stuff sure, but my friend has it worse. I’ve at least settled here. She’s...out there somewhere new one day to the next. Won’t settle down. Too scared. She’s too afraid of not being forgiven either. ” Rin shrugged as if this was some after thought.</p><p>Makoto was pretty sure this was a poor attempt at a cover, and went right along with it. “What’d she do?”</p><p>“Slept with people she shouldn’t have. Two of them.”</p><p>“<em>Two </em>?”</p><p>“One of them...Had it been other circumstances and if he were not such a jerk, then maybe…” Rin shook her head. “She left the drama of her own making to protect those she actually loved. But she feels she betrayed them one in the same.”</p><p>“And you?”</p><p>“Me? <em> Please</em>. I tried out as a sex worker, I didn’t get past vetting without wigging out. Plus when they found out I didn’t have basically any experience, they said no. Can’t even do that well.” She said bitterly.</p><p>Before Makoto could comment, stunned by what Rin just told her, Rin turned to Makoto. “You sure you don’t want her job?” Rin asked, indicating Kokoro.</p><p>“Nah.” Makoto laughed, somewhat nervously. “I’m happy at my bakery.”</p><p>“What I wouldn't give for…” Rin trailed off, without thinking.</p><p>“What? I could probably make it.”</p><p>“It's fine. It’s nothing special; just chocolate, basically anything. I’m good to be a glutton and maybe a hookup when I’m interested, I guess.”</p><p>“That’s not what I see.”</p><p>“You’re <em> far </em> too kind. Plus, no offense, I still think you’ve got a bit of those rose-colored glasses on because you barely know me.”</p><p>“Tell me something about you.”</p><p>“I <em> did</em>; a few things: I pull pranks on Kokoro, and I abandoned people I love.”</p><p>“And you like chocolate. You are in good hands if you stick around. Maybe one day you’ll even come <em> into </em> my bakery, instead of just drooling at the window displays when you don't think I see you.”</p><p>“Y-you’ve caught me?” Rin blushed slightly.</p><p>“Plenty of times. But you’re quick. By the time I can get outside or get my other best friend Motoki to actually <em> give </em> you something, you’ve split. In fact, I’d almost say you had a crush on me, or maybe my food.”</p><p>Rin froze. Wide eyed and almost stammered, “The food does smell amazing?”</p><p>“Does it?” Makoto looked right into her eyes, straightforward flirting.</p><p>“Oh...Y-yeah...L-like I said, not very social. And when I <em> do </em> go outside, I kind of prefer the nighttime.” Rin initially stammered, before looking away.</p><p>“Well hopefully tonight can change that some, and let you not be so vampirish.”</p><p>“Is that even a word?” If Rin caught the implication, she didn’t let on. Makoto was being <em> bold now. </em></p><p>Makoto shrugged. “I don’t know, but it sounds good.”</p><p>“Well, what about you? You like to bake, I assume, and according to Kokoro I can trust you. Why?”</p><p>“I think the ‘why’ part you’re going to have to answer for yourself if you give it a chance. As for me, yes I like to bake, garden, and I like martial arts.”</p><p>Rin nodded, sipping her drink. “Fair, but common knowledge most likely, yes?“</p><p>“Touche.” Makoto replied, before drinking from her own glass, as she pondered what she could tell this intriguing redhead.</p><p>“I <em> did </em> admit I was here for a hookup. I think Kokoro is about the only one I wouldn’t have to actually say that to; she could just tell.”</p><p>Rin nodded. “She’s perceptive?”</p><p>“Very.”</p><p>They remained in a somewhat comfortable silence for a few moments. Makoto thought about telling Rin when she came out, but figured that was common knowledge too. </p><p>“I grew up in foster care for about 6 years before I vouched for emancipation. My parents died in a plane crash when I was 8. However, while that part is common knowledge, here’s something not even my friends really know: because one of our friends also grew up in foster care, he’s always been like the older brother I never had.”</p><p>Rin looked at her curiously and opened her mouth to ask a question then suddenly stopped before saying  “Wow...I’m sorry for your loss...Your friend, so you met him in foster care?”</p><p>“That’s just it, I never met him until I was 14. We never once crossed paths until that point.”</p><p>It was true, not even Usagi knew that teeny detail that Makoto was longing for a sibling, but most of this Usagi would have already known. That thought stung Makoto, even now; the things she and Usagi never got to share with each other. She took a sip of her drink. </p><p>Oh well.</p><p>“I guess it is a small world, for as big as it is…” Rin replied softly.</p><p>“Can be, yeah. Okay, I think I've got something else for you. My favorite dish. I...I don't even know if my best friend ever knew this about me. Everyone <em> thinks </em> my favorite dish is cherry pie, and while it is <em> one </em> of my favorites, it’s not #1. The truth is, it was my best friend’s curry. I have zero clue how she made it; rather how much of the ingredients she used. I’m convinced she used something accidentally. But I never got to ask her what.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>Makoto’s face went somber. “She disappeared a number of years ago. We don’t know why or what happened. We think she’s dead, but no real clue, because we can’t find her. Goodness we’ve searched for her. Sometimes I still do.”</p><p>“You love her.” Rin stated simply.</p><p>“Never quite stopped, but I know she’d want me to move on. It’s hard though.”</p><p>Rin nodded, looking into her drink as if it held answers to even more questions she wasn’t sure she had, or perhaps wanted answered? </p><p>“I never could...Not really.” Rin continued her thought as if it were her own.</p><p>“Could what?” Makoto asked.</p><p>“Move on, even if she’d probably want me to, too. She was special. She…” Rin shook her head, and gave a rueful smile. “She’s hopefully happy, and hopefully has forgotten about me. All I did was weigh her down anyway.”</p><p>“If she cared about you; if she loved you, then don’t consider yourself a burden.”</p><p>“Can’t help it. She was one of the few who didn’t see me as a burden; but everyone else <em> did</em>. It's hard to be basically shunned by everyone else. But it’s why she and a select few stood out to me; it’s why I kept them close. But even that didn’t last long.”</p><p>“Because you left.”</p><p>“Because I left.”</p><p>“You sure you don’t wanna get out of here? Forget what <em> I </em> came here for, but perhaps, maybe you might need it more than I do. One night of--” Makoto thought of her words. “Reckless abandon; reckless spontaneousness.”</p><p>“A hookup?” Rin arched an eyebrow and smiled. Makoto was grateful she was sitting, she felt like her knees would have just given out.</p><p>“<em>Not </em> a hookup, or one night stand.”</p><p>“Then what would it be?”</p><p>“Comfort?...Maybe even casual?” Makoto suggested, echoing some of Kokoro’s words earlier.</p><p>“I feel like we’re just using each other then. That’s not what I’d want from this.”</p><p>“What do you want? For one night, what would you want in all the world?”</p><p>“Even if you could give that to me….It’s impossible. Hell, I couldn't even <em> tell </em> you what I wanted right now.”</p><p>“Try me.”</p><p>“To forget. For...6? 8 damn <em> hours </em> I just want to forget my cluster of a life...Even if some things I’m actually <em> not </em> ashamed of.”</p><p>“Then let’s go.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Let’s go. Hell, we don’t even have to go to my place yet. Let’s go run amuck; paint the town some other color than red. Let’s go play on the playground, or find sprinklers to run in; go find an open amusement park or something.” Makoto stood and offered her hand.</p><p>“Break the law; get arrested?” Rin joked.</p><p>“If we can sneak a few more drinks from Kokoro, and so long as the lawbreaking is minor and we can make our own bail without a record/jail sentence, <em> sure</em>! Besides, I got a friend, worst case, and I <em> know </em> she’s working tonight.” Makoto winked.</p><p>“Um…” Rin blushed and looked away.</p><p>Makoto almost swooned, having to subtly hold onto the back of the barstool she had just gotten up from.</p><p>Rin found herself grinning after a moment of contemplation. “Sure.”</p><p>“Kokoro! Tabs please?” Makoto called.</p><p>“Where are you two off to?”</p><p>“Paint the town.” Makoto said cheekily.</p><p>Kokoro smiled.</p><p>“Don’t you dare tell me you told me so.” Rin said, giving her a look.</p><p>Kokoro detected a smile, basically the first real smile she’s <em> ever </em> seen on Rin in all the time she has spent in this bar. “But I was right.”</p><p>“Kokoro, gloating doesn't suit you.” Makoto replied.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah yeah…Here.” Kokoro said offering Makoto’s tab to the brunette, as Rin spoke up.</p><p>“No, please? You <em> were </em> looking for a good time, and all I did was bum you out. Kokoro, please put it all on my tab? I’m also done for the night.”</p><p>Kokoro smiled, handing Rin Makoto’s bill (not allowing Makoto to protest) before attending to others.</p><p>Makoto glanced down as the right-handed Rin signed the bill with her own pen. With Rin to her left the entire time, Makoto didn’t have to reach across Rin's body in order to take hold of her wrist, with a swift urgency and leaned in.</p><p>“I’m not here to hurt you I promise.” She said quietly, feeling Rin’s wrist immediately tense and she tried to pull back from Makoto’s firm grip. “Please, let me go.” Rin pleaded, her voice immediately wavering. Makoto just as instantly detected fear.</p><p>“I will, but first I <em>need to know</em> <em>where</em> you got this pen.”</p><p>“What?” Rin breathed before glancing down. A distinctive jeweled pen sat in her hand.</p><p>“This pen, where did you get it? It’s important. Please?”</p><p>“It’s<em> mine. </em>” Rin said. She felt Makoto tense.</p><p>“But...It...It <em> can’t </em> be…” Makoto said aloud in disbelief, drowned out by music. Then in her head. ‘ <em> Usagi </em> ? <em> Is...Is it really you? </em>’ The ability to mindlink (or speak to each other within their minds) had been a new skill they’d learned about around the time Usagi had left. Makoto had wanted to use it with Usagi dearly, to reach out and share her thoughts. But what had prevented her before now, she couldn’t say.  </p><p>Rin didn’t respond, or even indicate if she’d heard. Rin took a glance towards Kokoro. She trusted her more than she’d ever let Kokoro know, and even she didn’t know why. But she didn’t know who she was and because from Rin’s standpoint, <em> couldn't </em> see this. Kokoro was just a human after all.</p><p>Rin concentrated on the bill in front of her, as Makoto (with surprising patience) waited for her out. Their bodies shadowed the bill from the lights well. “Tell me...Do you see something on the bill?”</p><p>Makoto almost bore a hole into the pen before glancing over. There, she saw a faint hint of a crescent moon; a golden one that could in no way be caused by the lighting or reflections of lights. </p><p>Makoto's hand slowly released it’s somewhat strong hold on her wrist, and moved slowly over the back of Rin’s hand; and as best as she could, with Rin still holding the pen, interlaced their fingers. Makoto mirrored her action on the bill. “Do you see what I see?”</p><p>“I do.” Rin replied, seeing the faint green #4, as Rin then felt a tear drop on her hand that wasn’t her own.</p><p>“Ladies? You alright?”</p><p>Quickly the pair looked up (their symbols gone); nodding and plastering smiles on their faces. Kokoro gave them a skeptical look, seeing Makoto’s eyes glassy with what may have been tears, but couldn't inquire more as she had to prevent an argument from getting out of hand.</p><p>Rin turned her posture, clutching the pen in her hand before offering it to Makoto who held it between their joined hands, but she pushed it back towards Rin. “I have to go.” Rin said, putting her pen in her pocket. She began to move away, but tried to make their physical connection last as long as possible until distance declared otherwise.</p><p>But Rin felt a soft tug on her hand when she expected them to part. </p><p>“Come to my place? Please? Stay? I think there’s quite a bit we need to talk about…” Makoto asked softly, sounding unsure herself.</p><p>Rin’s face contorted briefly, as if she were attempting not to burst into tears; Maktoo would have missed it had it not been for her reflection off one of the mirrors.</p><p>The air of fun evaporated faster than the steam that was created by lava meeting ocean water.</p><p>Rin shook her head.</p><p>“Your friend...You were talking about yourself, weren't you?” Makoto ever so gently confronted.</p><p>Rin’s head began to spin. She shook it briefly, before turning around. </p><p>“Y-you still want to hookup with me?” Came Rin’s question that tumbled out of her mouth. It was the only thing Rin could actually focus on clearly.</p><p>Makoto’s eyes widened. “That’s not--we don’t have to--Just <em> talk </em>.”</p><p>Rin’s eyes closed partially as she bit her bottom lip before stepping forward. Within the same movement, she rose to her toes, placed one hand on Makoto's shoulder, and the other along her face and kissed her. </p><p>Kokoro turned when she heard the higher toned, enthusiastic ‘ooohs’ that she’d normally hear when she used to work in Juban middle &amp; high schools, and her mouth dropped open. “Holy shit.” Kokoro muttered from the opposite end of the bar, not that anyone heard her because of all the cheering. Kokoro was grateful she didn't have a glass in her hand, because she would have surely dropped it.</p><p>The kiss broke. Both looked a little dazed, and Kokoro was sure Rin was definitely tipsy. Rin nodded her head, mouthing something Kokoro couldn't make out from her viewpoint, before turning and holding Makoto’s hand as they began to leave. </p><p>All of the women wanted to know <em> how </em> Rin was able to get Makoto to leave with her, yet, what was it <em> about Rin </em>that got Makoto’s attention?</p><p>Makoto did <b> <em>not</em> </b> miss the warning in her head from the bartender, as Rin led her out of the bar.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks always to @Kazekaitou for the suggestions, massive support, contributions, and beta! </p><p>Just to note: I'll be interchanging the use of the names of Rin and Usagi. Part of it is dependent on Usagi's level of comfort or confidence, part of it may be how Makoto is thinking about her. Some of it is simply narritave.</p><p>But if you notice, there is a distinct difference of the persona of Rin as opposed to Usagi.</p><p>Mindlink/Telepathy will typically be in single quotation marks and italics. (and noted when possible).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CHAPTER #2 - </p><p>Rin paused when they got to the next intersection. She knew where Makoto’s bakery was, and she knew where her old apartment was. But she had no real clue of if she lived at either of those places anymore. </p><p>Minutes before she had been planning an escapade, laughing freely at the playground or park with love and light in her heart for the first time in years.</p><p>And now?</p><p>She knew the conversation in front of them was a harsh truth on a darkened night; the hope she had lost. It was all about missteps and miscalculations of pain that ran deep. Even so, she didn’t let go of Makoto’s hand.</p><p>Makoto smiled and with their hands still linked, and took the lead. Fortunately, Makoto did live above the bakery.</p><p>Though she was slightly too happy to notice Rin’s increasing anxiety.</p><p>They remained silent during the 20 minute walk. Rin’s body began to tremble, and Makoto honestly wasn't sure if it was because she was cold, nervous, or scared as they neared her apartment door.</p><p>Entering her home, Rin gasped. It was beautiful, large, spacious, and her senses were embraced with the aroma of sandalwood rose that floated in the air. Her eyes saw a constant green from the hanging plants, along with the windowsill garden Makoto had along her kitchen windows. Small vases were strewn around the house; red roses on the kitchen table; yellow roses in the deep corners of the countertop, and a pink, yellow, and white lotus flower floating in a bowl on the coffee table.</p><p>Rin was so stunned, she forgot why she was here to begin with. She barely registered that Makoto had reluctantly let go of her hand to make tea, and gave her a large glass of water.</p><p>“Usa-” Rin immediately shook her head, beginning to do a parameter check; even though she knew the door behind her was locked.</p><p>Makoto watched her curiously, and concerned, but didn’t necessarily comment. She <em> did </em> see the fear and at the same time, the years of fluid practice that Rin performed this potential...ritual?</p><p>“Rin--”</p><p>“No one can know. I took a huge risk telling you. Please don't tell <em> anyone </em> else.”</p><p>Makoto gave a soft smile. When the Senshi were given upgrades, they were given serious upgrades. “I'm not sure if you can see it, but if so, see all the purple? No one <em> will </em> know. It’s Saturn’s privacy spray; it never wears off. This place is just as secure as the Time Gates.” Makoto then frowned at the shudder that Usa-nay, that Rin emitted with the mention of the Time Gates.</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“You should sit. Three drinks really does--”</p><p>“Remember how I said I pretend to be drunk? I’ve even fooled Kokoro.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I can hold my liquor. I’ve learned to over time. I’d, I’d just rather her keep me in check. I actually don’t have a problem, but with my troubles, I know how fast the temptation can be. So, I asked that Kokoro average me out. Plus, I’m pretty sure that if she doesn't water down my drinks, she puts a lot less alcohol in it than she normally would.”</p><p>“She’s good like that.”</p><p>“Yes she is. Don’t get me wrong, I can hold my liquor, but oddly enough (karma maybe?), even a small amount and I’ll have a headache the next morning, But I only pretend to be this short of out of control.”</p><p>“So...What’s the truth, Rin? You told me earlier you’ve had 5 before…”</p><p>“That’s true. I asked Kokoro to let me test it out. She kept watch. Like I said, 5 is my limit.”</p><p>Rin took the water and drank half of it, then set it down on the coffee table. She wasn’t yet comfortable sitting. </p><p>“Rin?” Makoto asked, her eyes concerned as she saw Rin staring at her.</p><p>Rin blushed, having been caught staring. She found herself moving forward and kissing Makoto again. Makoto was kind of surprised, but she was kind of caught off guard because she still tasted a bit of the sangria on Rin’s lips.</p><p>“Wait...Please? Can we talk first?”</p><p>“Why? If-If we talk, things are going to change--”</p><p>Makoto looked at her sympathetically and spoke gently. “Things...They’ve already changed, with what you showed me at the bar...”</p><p>“You’ve accepted this much of me...If I tell you any more, that’s going to change. I <em> know </em> it will. I-I’ve always been good at procrastinating, yeah? Can we just not--”</p><p>But Makoto pulled away slightly. “This is going to eat you alive." She paused a moment letting her words sink in slightly before continuing. "I fear it already has started to, much more than you <em>ever</em> want me to understand. If we push back addressing this; whatever <em> this </em> is, I’m too afraid we may not last because it’s gonna come between us. I don’t want <em>anything</em> to come between us anymore. Time and space has already shoved it's way in the middle. Now, we’ve at least physically gotten rid of the distance. We can’t really do a whole lot about the time we’ve lost. I want...I <em> need </em> to know. <em> Who </em> betrayed you? Surely you didn't betray us.”</p><p>Rin broke the embrace completely, but still stood near her.</p><p>“Makoto please? Please? I know I mentioned a hookup, but that’s not what I want. I <em> do </em> want to be with you. But I can’t promise I’ll be able to stay either. I'm not even sure why I’ve settled down, I-I think I just needed to see you again; to be near you, even if I’ve avoided you this whole time. I was okay with being able to at least loosely keep an eye on you and the others to make sure you were all safe.”</p><p>“Why aren’t we safe?” Makoto asked, almost ignoring the fact that Rin was close to changing the subject completely.</p><p>Rin shook her head. “I..I can’t. I just have to protect you. I-I have to protect you <em> all </em>. I can't fail at my mission...”</p><p>“And what of mine?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Mine is to protect you too. I feel like I <em> have </em> failed, because you left…”</p><p>“No..You <em> never </em> failed me, Mako. Ever. Besides, that was just your duty--”</p><p>“<em>No</em>. I know how you feel about duty, destiny, and obligation. I want to protect you because I <em> want </em> to. Not because I <em> have </em> to. Never because I had to.”</p><p>Rin shook her head. </p><p>“Who are you protecting us from?”</p><p>“I can’t say.”</p><p>‘<em>Usagi </em> . <em> Yes you can. You are safe here. You are </em> <b> <em>safe</em> </b> <em> with me </em>.’</p><p>‘<em>I know. I know I am. I don’t want to let that feeling go. I know it’ll disappear with the truth.’ </em></p><p><em> ‘I highly doubt you slept with the enemy. What </em> <b> <em>happened</em> </b> <em> , Usa? Please? </em> <b> <em>Nothing</em> </b> <em> will happen to you. I won’t </em> <b> <em>let</em> </b> <em> it. I </em> <b> <em>will</em> </b> <em> protect you </em>.’</p><p>“I can’t let you do that. I can’t let you put yourself in danger.”</p><p>‘<em>Dammit, Usagi. I’m <strong>not</strong> going to leave you. I’ll come </em> <b> <em>with</em> </b> <em> you if you want me to! </em>’</p><p>“No! It’s no life for you!”</p><p>Makoto glared. “Like it’s a life for you?”</p><p>“I’m used to it.”</p><p>“What do you think is gonna happen if you tell me the truth? You honestly think I’m going to leave you, or banish you away? What do you think <em>I’m</em> going to <b>do</b> <em>to you</em>, if you tell me the truth?”</p><p>“I don't <em> know </em>! But I don’t want to find out! I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry, I never should have come; come over, come back, took stupid Kokoro‘s advice.” Rin cried out, and turned to leave.</p><p>“<em>DON'T</em>!” Makoto shouted, causing Usagi to jump as she raced for the front door, “Don’t go.” Makoto requested, her tone much softer.</p><p>“Why not?” Rin asked softly, her hand and forehead rested on the back of the front door.</p><p>“Because I can’t lose you again. When you first disappeared, we weren't sure if you were alive or dead. We ended up thinking you were dead, but my god we <em> looked. We looked </em> for you. But we just couldn’t find you. We <em> tried </em> , we used everything we could, but <em> nothing </em>. We didn’t know where you were, what had happened to you, who was responsible, or why. You’re back now; even if you have reservations. What if you walk out that door; what if I never see you again? I can’t...I can’t let you go without me coming with you...Please stay. I know we're kind of arguing right now. I know you don’t want to tell me what’s happened, and I respect that (even if it doesn't seem that way), I just disagree. Don’t go back out there, all alone, scared, and goodness knows into what conditions. Please? Whether or not we were gonna be together tonight...Usa, just let me hold you in my arms.”</p><p>Rin’s hand had slid to the doorknob, and her shaking was hard as she leaned against it. She tried to stifle a sob that clawed at her throat, but failed.</p><p>“I’m afraid if I leave, I won’t ever see you again. That all my nightmares; all the false <em> …’realities’ </em> that were shown to me over time will come true; that you will be dead. I’ve thought about it for so long as it is. So to come back, see you alive again...I just couldn’t go. I’m not sure I could go again. Not...Not even when I loosely have you back in my life.”  </p><p>“So stay. Please, stay?”</p><p>“I don't want to fight. I don’t want to go, but...Staying?”</p><p>“You’ve been under our noses for months. You’ve seemed to settle down, even a little...Please? Don’t leave again. Don’t leave your home...Don’t leave me.”</p><p>“How...How have you been?” Usagi softly asked, potentially trying to avoid the discomfort of possibly saying goodbye, but not wanting to tell Makoto she worried that she wouldn't stay.“I...I see that you’re successful…”</p><p>Makoto found herself chuckling. “Oh Usa, yes, I’m successful.” Usagi caught Mako’s slip (that may or may not have been intentional, having missed or not cared about the slip before), but she didn't correct her. ”But I’m not entirely happy. I’ve missed you so incredibly much. The only real relationship that I've had after you was Motoki and we didn't last, because my heart wasn't in it like we both wanted. No other relationship that I tried had meaning; I began to stop caring. I honestly don’t know where’d I’d be or what I'd be doing if I didn’t have my bakery, or Motoki for that matter. Maybe looking for you still, but I don’t know.”</p><p>Both women were crying softly; with Rin attempting to hold back the wave of much heavier emotion she attempted to suppress.</p><p>“I love you.” Usagi felt like her heart shattered into a bazillion little pieces with her admission.</p><p>Makoto felt like her heart would burst with joy, barely hearing Usagi’s whisper.</p><p>But for all that she has said tonight, she couldn't look at the emerald eyed woman in the eyes. Usagi sensed Makoto's approach, who softly took one of her hands in hers. She didn’t turn her around, or bring her into a hug; she just let Usagi be with the gentle gesture, while the woman continued to cry agasint the door.</p><p>Usagi worked to center her breathing. Hers and Makoto’s breaths were the only thing heard for a few moments. Usagi slowly turned around staring at the floor.</p><p>“You don’t have to tell me anything this second, except this: Do you think I will hate you because of whatever truths you hold?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Look at me.”</p><p>Rin shook her head.</p><p>‘<em>Usagi?' </em>Look at me, please?”</p><p>With heavy trepidation on her face did she lift her head to look towards green eyes.</p><p>“I may be upset by what you have to tell me, but I could <em> not </em> hate you. No matter how bad what you have to say is, no matter how badly you think I will, or perhaps that I should hate you. I will not. <em> Ever </em> . I love you too damned much to hate you because of something that happened, most likely when you were 16 years old. You were still a teenager; still a kid; we <em> all </em> were according to all the adults in our lives.”</p><p>Usagi broke down again slightly. “I just wanna makeout.” </p><p>Makoto couldn't help but laugh. “Yeah, we can do that too. But I gotta know what I’m willingly jumping into, just in case our makeout session goes a little further than that.”</p><p>“Why?” Usagi pleaded. “I’m a really good kisser...I guess.”</p><p>Makoto grinned. “So far so good, and definitely yes if memory serves me correctly. But I gotta know why because it’s part of my protection plan.”</p><p>“What?” Rin’s eyes flashed with alarm.</p><p>“Humor me. If I know what I’m getting into, I can act acc---”</p><p>“No! I don’t <em>want</em> you to act any type of way!...I just want you to be Mako.” Usagi started out strong, but her voice lowered.</p><p>Makoto rolled her eyes, more to herself than Usagi, as she internally said to screw it all, and she took Usagi into her arms, and kissed her lovingly before holding her in a hug. An exhausted Usagi finally let her knees give out, and clutched onto the stronger warrior that stood before her. She sobbed, with her words of fearing Makoto dead and deep sorrow barely coherent.</p><p>Makoto easily swept an arm under her knees, carrying her to the couch until she calmed. Makoto left kisses to her temple and her hair, vowing her own love right back to Usagi.</p><p>Usagi trembled, taking deep airy inhales of breath, trying to catch hers. Makoto ran her hands softly along her back, and kept her own breathing even, hoping the rhythm of both would catch on. Luckily it did, between Makoto’s natural rhythm and the scent of her perfume, Usagi calmed significantly.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.”</p><p>Usagi took deep, calming breaths, secretly inhaling what was left of Makoto’s perfume.</p><p>Makto felt barely there, almost airy kisses to her neck, as if Usagi were trying to sneak them in without Mako noticing.</p><p>Usagi pulled back before Makoto could call her on it. “Mako?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>Softly did Usagi take another breath before moving forward to kiss her softly. Makoto couldn’t help it, she smiled through their kiss. Usagi continued to kiss her before she ventured to her jaw.</p><p>“Rin...Ooh Rin…” Makoto said, failing to suppress a soft moan as Usagi became bolder and began to kiss her neck.</p><p>“Wait.” Maoto pulled back. “At the bar...You said you tried to be a sex worker. Was that true, or was just a part of your cover?”</p><p>Usagi met her eyes, before lowering them. “That was true. Does that bother you?”</p><p>Makoto took a moment or two before answering with soft words. “I think it makes me more sad than anything else. Sad because you thought that was something you were either made to do, had to do, or at least considered doing to survive.” Makoto gently held Usagi’s face between both of her hands. Makoto squeezed her eyes shut, and rested her head against Usagi’s. “I love you. You’ll never have to work so hard to simply survive. I swear it.”</p><p>Usagi reached forward for a kiss, only for Makoto to pull back and give her a look that caused Usagi to pause. Usagi looked at her unsure. Makoto grinned, as it allowed her to be the one to kiss Usagi. “I’ve noticed you like to steal kisses. You’ve been stealing them when you can.”</p><p>Usagi blushed. “Guilty. So can I keep kissing you?”</p><p>“I was hoping you’d tell me the truth first...”</p><p>“Tomorrow? Please? I’ll tell you tomorrow…”</p><p>“Promise?”</p><p>“I may not be the best person to make promises…I feel like all I do is break them, or will break them.” Usagi looked as if she wanted to say more but refrained.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>“No kissing yet. What’s up?”</p><p>Usagi frowned. “I..I just want to try and forget, for one night. Just one. I just wanna be. I know I’m not necessarily U--her anymore; I’ve been Rin for so long.” Usagi suddenly got up to pace. “I don't <em> want </em> to be who I used to be; and while I have no real clue who I am now, I just don’t want any of my old responsibilities! I’m trying so <em> desperately </em> to start fresh here.”</p><p>“Hang on, Usa--”</p><p>“Rin. Please, Rin.”</p><p>Makoto nodded. “Rin, you are not responsible for anything here. Not your past; not what you’ve left behind...There is <em> no </em> pressure here.”</p><p>“Yeah, from you.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“What about the others?”</p><p>“No one knows who you are.”</p><p>“<em>I </em>do...So do you.”</p><p>Makoto felt the weight in her words. “Rin, I do <em> not </em> expect you to be who you were when you were 16.”</p><p>“I just want to forget. I want to forget a lot; a lot of things, and a lot of negative feelings. And I know the more I’m opening my mouth, the more I’m giving you reason to not makeout tonight.” </p><p>Makoto gave her a soft look to indicate that the last part was correct.</p><p>Usagi sighed. “Maybe I should just go--”</p><p>“Where? Home? Where’s that? Where are you staying? I <em> want </em> you to stay here.” Makoto responded urgently.</p><p>“I have a place.”</p><p>“Where? I’ll take you there.”</p><p><em>“No.”</em> Usagi said defensively.</p><p>“Why not? You may be a very private person now, but it’s late. You <em> have </em> been drinking; even if you can hold your liquor. Stay here tonight.”</p><p>Usagi let her head drop. “Fine...I’ll stay.”</p><p>“I’m glad.”</p><p>“Why are you pushing me so much for a damn truth I’m not ready to share?” Usagi practically demanded with a glare and her arms now crossed over her chest.</p><p>Makoto looked guilty. “Because I love you. Because I don’t want to hurt you somehow by giving you what you ask for without knowing anything about you; about your past for...how many years of your life. I’m scared you’re going to get hurt because I’ve accidentally done or said something that causes you pain. You want to forget yes, but I’m worried about doing or saying something that will essentially trigger the memories you’re so desperately trying to keep hidden.”</p><p>Usagi glared, but it eventually melted away, and she held a half smile to her face. </p><p>“What?” Makoto asked.</p><p>“You care too much.”</p><p>Makoto flashed a smile, before it dropped to show concern. “And how much have you honestly missed that in and of itself?”</p><p>Usagi nodded, and looked at her with all seriousness behind her eyes. “A lot.”</p><p>“Look...As much as you want to makeout tonight; as much as I want for us to makeout too...Let’s take this a few steps back, okay? Let me just hold you tonight? I think maybe, you might need that more.”</p><p>“Okay.” Usagi conceded. Makoto took her hands in hers. “Do you want to stay in the guest room, or come to my room?”</p><p>“Yours please? If-If that’s okay?”</p><p>Makoto smiled and led her across the hall. She went to her dresser and handed her a spare shirt and sweatpants.</p><p>“Thanks. I’ll be right back.” Usagi took them gratefully and went to the bathroom to go change, as Makoto changed herself.</p><p>When Usagi emerged, Makoto was already sitting up in bed with a book.</p><p>“Cookbook?”</p><p>Makoto chuckled. “Nah, not before bed unless it’s for my own book. Trashy romance novel. They’re such trainwrecks, I usually can’t put it down.” Makoto commented before putting her book on the nightstand. “Hop in. Want to--”</p><p>“I thought you said you can’t put them down?”</p><p>“Usually. Tonight’s much different. I’m not about to spend tonight reading a book I’ve read a thousand times over when you’re here. So, want to watch a movie?”</p><p>Usagi found herself smiling. “Yeah. I’d like that. What movie?”</p><p>“You pick. They’re all on demand anyway.”</p><p>Usagi picked one of their favorites when they were teenagers, but was so exhausted, she fell asleep halfway through the movie. </p><p>Knowing exactly where they left off, Makoto turned off the movie, told a sleeping Usagi she loved her, and fell asleep too.</p><p>~*~*~*~</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please leave a comment/review. I'd love to know what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Potential Trigger Warnings (Mid-chapter) / Dealing with Flashbacks<br/>Thanks again to my AWESOMEST BETA @Kazekaitou, who helped me rewrite the top part of the chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CHAPTER #3 - </p><p>Usagi’s eyes popped open in an unfamiliar bed, and when she turned to see a familiar brunette sleeping peacefully next to her, she was grateful she hadn’t startled. From where she laid, through the peek of the curtains she could tell it was still well into the night. </p><p>Awoken by nightmares, again. </p><p>Thankfully it seemed that her companion staved off the worst of them.</p><p>She took a moment, to smell the pillow, the long brown hair next to her head, to feel clean sheets in a plush bed. She’d remembered curling into Mako’s arms, falling asleep to her quiet, steady breathing. </p><p>All these things were not enough to keep her there. There were lingering thoughts of the darkness behind her eyelids, and fear of accidentally waking her up, so she carefully disentangled herself from covers and sheets, straightened out the borrowed t-shirt she’d fallen asleep in and made her way to the kitchen.</p><p>Hands trailed immaculate countertops. Only a chef would keep their apartment this tidy and clean. She quickly found an electric kettle and started herself some tea.</p><p>Leaning over the counter, waiting for the water to boil, her thoughts wondered. How wonderfully surreal this felt. </p><p>Usagi smiled before she frowned.</p><p>How this could be yanked away in any moment. </p><p>She closed her eyes, her body tensing, telling her danger was <em> right here, right now </em>, and she turned to the kitchen window to see the moon shining down on her. She glared.</p><p>Then made her tea. She focused on Makoto’s tea selection: some staple greens with soft flowery flavors, so very her. Jasmine teas. Lavender, Chamomile, Rose. </p><p>Continuing her thoughts of the last few hours, Usagi finished her tea. Hand washing the cup, and leaving it in the drying rack, she emptied the kettle, and left it to air dry. It was something that was a habit for her. Not just because she spent so much time in places without a dishwasher, but it was almost too silent, even with Makoto there. </p><p>Usagi liked silence, yes. It allowed her to increase her auditory skills. Her old friends might just be proud of her for it too. But at the same time, she didn’t want to wake Makoto even from a different room.</p><p>A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth at the thought of returning to Makoto.</p><p>Then a tear filled her eye, as she was more upset that she practically forgot how safe Makoto made her feel, always.</p><p>Yet she <em> didn’t </em> forget that feeling, because that was also why she came home. She came home for Makoto. She came home <em> because </em> Makoto made her feel safe (even if it originally was going to be for Makoto’s memory). She glanced at herself in the mirror that served as part of the backsplash to Makoto's kitchen. </p><p>Usagi <em> liked </em> how she looked with red hair and brown eyes. <em> She </em> carved this out for herself, and didn’t want to let go of it yet. (Usagi knew on some level there was no pressure from Mako to change, but the anxiety was there).</p><p>Despite the choices she’s made as Rin, (that she <em> wasn't </em> happy with) overall, she was still <em> proud </em> of some of who she’s kind of become.</p><p>Usagi craved that feeling of safety that only Makoto could give her. As she was about to turn the corner, heading back to Makoto’s room, the moonlight that streamed through the open curtains over the screened sliding door caught her eye. A soft breeze moved the curtains.</p><p>She glanced up at the moon. Her mood that had gone from contemplative to somewhat happy, diminished quickly.</p><p>She glared again at the moon. It did her no favors. It didn’t save her. It sat in the sky, shining down like nothing was wrong while her world disintegrated around her.</p><p>Usagi managed to keep her tears at bay, but her breathing was a different story. She rested her head over the arms on the couch--the closest thing she could reach, trying to relax even a little. The <em> only </em> reason she slept halfway decent tonight was because of Makoto, of that she was convinced.</p><p>She wasn't about to lose her. Not again.</p><p>Usagi did everything she could <em> not </em> to let her mind continue to tell her Makoto was dead, and that it was her fault.</p><p>The Jovian was mere feet away from her, and if she walked into her room she could smell her perfume. </p><p>Makoto was alive. Hours ago she spoke to her, she held her hand, she <em> kissed </em> her. </p><p>‘<em>Just </em> <b> <em>move</em> </b> <em> your fucking feet Rin, come on…’ </em> Usagi growled to herself.</p><p>‘<em>But what are you going to see when you open the door?’ </em> Whispered her own manifested guilt. ‘<em>Makoto dead? Makoto begging </em> <b> <em>not</em> </b> <em> to be tortured? Makoto crying? And you’re standing </em> <b> <em>here. </em> </b> <em> Afraid </em> <b> <em>. </em> </b> <em> You </em> <b> <em>Coward</em> </b>.’</p><p>Shaking her head, wiping tears away, not willing to be a waterfall, and taking some slow deep breaths as if meditating, Usagi went back into Makoto’s room, and softly got back in next to her. </p><p>She initially faced her back towards Makoto, and gently placed one of her arms around her, and Mako in turn softly held her tighter. “Where’d you go?” She asked sweetly. Usagi felt a smile against her shoulder, only to have Usagi shrug.</p><p>“You’re tense. What’s wrong?” Makoto murmured, without opening her eyes.</p><p>Usagi turned around with a sigh to her voice. “Nothing.”</p><p>Makoto's eyes blinked open. She said nothing and just waited.</p><p>“Nothing, Mako. I promise. I was in an okay mood, and then it just stopped.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>Usagi sighed. “Because I saw the moonlight.” She shook her head. “I had a nightmare. Look, I don’t want to talk about it please. I'm tired.”</p><p>Makoto briefly debated on pressing her, but decided against it. ”Okay. I love you.”</p><p>Usagi nodded before burying her head under Makoto’s chin, falling asleep.</p><p>~*~*~*~*~</p><p>Usagi had fallen asleep easier, while Makoto stayed up for a few minutes more, thinking of Usagi's words. But Makoto wasn't ready to confront her by the next morning. She had barely reunited with her 12hrs ago. This was still new territory for both of them.</p><p>Cooking a light meal to begin with, Usgai was grateful.</p><p>“So, what do you want to do today?” Makoto asked.</p><p>“Take a very long shower.” </p><p>“That's definitely possible, and for as long as you want.”</p><p>Usagi grinned. “Good.”</p><p>For as close as they were already becoming, there was no assumption between the pair that Usagi’s shower would be shared.</p><p>“What else would you like to do?”</p><p>“Not leave your sight,” Usagi blurted just after the smallest of laughs of clear nervousness. “Um...I-I-uh, I”m sorry. That was...way too forward.I-I’m not sure what’s come over me.” Usagi blushed hard.</p><p>“Himitsu, Rin, do you have a crush on me?” Makoto teased cheekily and clearly flirting, only to watch Usagi’s blush deepen more mortified in embarrassment than flirting. Makoto giggled. “Good, I’m glad, because I definitely have a crush--more than a crush on you. And it’s perfectly okay and acceptable that you are crushing back, if not <em> more…Yes </em>, I see that smile you’re trying to hide.”</p><p>“Makoto…” Usagi wished she had a hoodie right now to hide under.</p><p>Makoto grinned. This would be fun for a while. “How about an indoor picnic?”</p><p>“What?” Usagi’s face returned to normal from her embarrassment, and now she was confused. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>“Easy. We have a picnic, just indoors instead of going outside. Between what Kokoro said and what you’ve said, you don't like going outside much.”</p><p>Usagi found herself warmed. She forgot how much Makoto actually paid attention and <em> heard </em> her.</p><p>“Don't we still have to paint the town, o-or at least go find a playground to play on?”</p><p>“You still want to do that? <em> Yeah </em> we can.” Makoto said enthusiastically.</p><p>“Cool.”</p><p>They sat in a comfortable silence, until it became awkward.</p><p>“Thank you, Makoto.”</p><p>“For what?” </p><p>“Last night, for being there...For not asking too many questions, even though I know you have them.”</p><p>Makoto nodded. “I do have them, yes. But it’s not for me to decide when or if you tell. In the meantime, I’ll do what I can to try and help you out.”</p><p>“I appreciate it.”</p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p>Around lunchtime, Usagi let Makoto cook whatever she wanted, her only request was okonomiyaki. Music was softly playing in the background from one of the internet radio stations.</p><p>Usagi laughed at something Makoto said, as she took a bite then glanced down at one of the other foods that Makoto had made of which Usagi had just sampled; she had served herself without looking at what she was taking.</p><p>She froze as her breathing all but hitched with the rest of her body.</p><p>“Rin?”</p><p>Usagi managed to spit the bite into a napkin, tossing it in the nearby can and took a large sip from a water bottle. She pushed away her plate, her eyes wild, looking for something else. </p><p>Spying Makoto’s hoodie, she unexpectedly scrambled for it. </p><p>Makoto liked oversized hoodies simply for comfort. The particular one (that Makoto brought out a week ago on an extra cold night was a hoodie big enough for her to curl her knees inside, and could double as a blanket if the heat were to go out. Makoto watched, very concerned as Usagi buried her small frame inside, looking like a young bear cub in a cave.</p><p>“Honey? Honey what happened? What is it? What did I--”</p><p>“No...Not you.” Usagi shook her head, with her answer gravely from her throat.</p><p>Makoto glanced over at the food, but instead brought over more tea.</p><p>“Sweetheart, c-can you tell me what you're thinking?”</p><p>Usagi attempted to open her mouth and answer, but couldn't. Not yet.</p><p>She tried to take the cup of tea, but her hands shook. Makoto gave a soft smile, holding the cup for her and helping her sip it.</p><p>It was ten minutes before Usagi spoke and she already sucked down 2 full cups of tea.</p><p>“Olives.”</p><p>“Olives?”</p><p>“Olives bad, both kinds, but black olives.”</p><p>“Honey, I'm so sorry--”</p><p>“You didn’t know. It’s-it's-it's okay.”</p><p>“Which one?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“‘They.’ Last the bar you indicated 2 of them.”</p><p>“Can’t say. Can never say. They’ll be back or they’ll come after you.”</p><p>“Did we see them last night?”</p><p>“No. I would have been gone faster than a bat out of hell.” ‘<em> Might have taken you with me too out of fear, so I don’t lose you again…’ </em> Usagi thought to herself.</p><p>“Noted--” When Usagi began to shake harder, even whimpering, Makato became scared.</p><p>“Rin--”</p><p>“<em>Song off! Song </em> <b> <em>off</em> </b> <em> ! </em>” She requested in a desperate shout, but the device didn't respond to Usagi’s voice.</p><p>Makoto gasped, as she immediately instructed the smart device to turn off, having caught the artist. She knew that band, and the voice during a solo.</p><p>Makoto looked at Usagi softly. Her own green eyes were confused, scared, concerned, and in realization of exactly <em> who </em> Usagi was so terrified of.</p><p>She knew instinctively not to say his name aloud.</p><p>It broke her heart and enraged her all the same. </p><p>But her rage needed to wait. Her comfort came first when it came to the cowering soul in front of her.</p><p>“Sweetheart, can I give you a hug?’</p><p>“Uh-huh…” </p><p>Makoto softly approached. She sat next to Usagi on the couch, and took Usagi into her arms and let her sob. </p><p>“He...His breath smelled like strong olives. I think so did his cologne? I don't know, it smelled terrible. You can put olives in your cooking, I promise--”</p><p>“No. No more olives. I only had them for flavor, I don't really like them anyway.”</p><p>They sat there in silence for another 10 minutes, while Usagi attempted to control her breathing and emotions.</p><p>Finally feeling composed, Usagi ventured to speak. “Uh...So...This, I suppose, is your first experience (with me anyway). Part flashback, part panic attack...I-I uh tend to have them a lot, and just kind of ride them out. I don't really have any strategies to help...I just suck it up, have them, and attempt to move forward…”</p><p>“I think getting you into a warm spot, giving you warm liquids, and maybe even giving you a hug might help.”</p><p>Usagi looked at Makoto before resting her head on her shoulder and inhaling her perfume, which Makoto also mentally added to the list of things that may help her, as Usagi fell asleep.</p><p>Makoto tucked Usagi back into bed and left her a note. Makoto returned to the kitchen and cleaned up their indoor picnic.</p><p>She sat on the couch, contemplating what to do. Kokoro should know, but Usagi was nowhere near ready to tell anyone else who she was.</p><p>Makoto would have loved to get revenge. But that would do no one any good, and would only temporarily ease her rage.</p><p>Worst of all she dared not bring the consequences of her rage or revenge upon Usagi’s shoulders. She was already bearing enough.</p><p>The weight of the last number of hours suddenly hit Makoto, and she began to cry. </p><p>Her tears turned into sobs.</p><p>Usagi was alive. She was back, and she was here, sleeping into Makoto’s room.</p><p>Years of sorrow surged forward. Makoto knew how much she missed Usagi while she was gone, but it felt almost at another level now that she was back…</p><p>To even think about what she must have gone through in order to survive...Makoto just wanted to hug her pain away but knew it wasn’t nearly that simple.</p><p>If she’d been with Usagi for a week, Makoto might actually have gone to the dojo to work to quell her rage.</p><p>But there was no way she was leaving Usagi by herself. Not yet.</p><p>Never again would Usagi feel, or wake up alone.</p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p>After waking up, and spending a quiet rest of the afternoon and early evening with movies and cooking Usagi’s favorites, the pair went to bed.</p><p>Usagi woke from a bad nightmare, but still did not wake Makoto.</p><p>Getting out of bed, she again made half a cup of tea, and caught sight of the moonlight on her way back to Makoto’s room.</p><p>Glaring even more harshly, and <em> knowing </em> Makoto was 20 feet away, Usagi didn't mind giving the moon a piece of her mind (even if she wasn’t about to say this out loud, or actually connect it through mindlink).</p><p>‘<em>You said you’d always be there. Where were you when I needed you the most? Where were you to help those who needed to hear me, actually </em> <b> <em>listen</em></b><em>? Where </em> <b> <em>were</em> </b> <em> you, while time itself felt like it stood still; you were only watching; while time </em> <b> <em>laughed</em> </b> <em> at me? Time...Time also went incredibly too fast for my head to wrap around yet so incredibly agonizingly </em> <b> <em>slowly</em></b><em>, I felt like I was in the worst limbo ever. You shine down on me; on all of us like you have nothing to do with anything. Yet I see you. It’s kind of surprising you aren’t closer with the Ruler of Seas...Because we know it’s <strong>you</strong> who truly controls it's tides. You shine down on all of us in the darkness; yet everything is supposed to be perfect; because of time? Tell me, what has </em> <b> <em>time</em> </b> <em> given me? What has time done for <strong>me</strong>?! </em>’</p><p>“I do not know how this is possible.--” Rin jumped and turned to see what was at first a hologram type form, before solidifying. “But whoever you are, you have summoned me.” </p><p>Rin stared wide-eyed as the Senshi of Time stood before her. </p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Mindlink: Mental Conversational Telepathy between the Senshi<br/>(I’d like to think I coined the phrase, but probably not). I got tired of the Senshi having to use their communicators and actually having to wait for answers.</p><p>Usagi has broken up with Mamoru because she fell out of love with him and some other reasons we shall definitely get into. (Sorry Usa/Mamo Shippers. I love them too, I do. Please no flames).</p><p>Usagi waited a solid 6 months before she dared to feel comfortable dating again.  She didn’t want anyone after Mamoru to be a rebound.</p><p>Usagi and Makoto begin to date in January of the year Usagi was to turn 17. Both realized they’ve had underlying feelings for one another, and were quickly falling in love. (These were the feelings Usagi wasn’t having with Mamoru).<br/>I’ve aged Makoto to be 6 months older than Usagi.</p><p>Usagi disappeared in the winter before her 17th birthday.</p><p>Statistics:<br/>Start Date: Aug 14, 2020: 0 pages, 0 words<br/>1 Months: Sept. 13, 2020:  251 pages, 75,000+ words<br/>2 Months: Oct. 14, 2020: 400 pages. 123,600+ words<br/>End Date: 3 Months: Nov. 4, 2020:  515 pages,  btw 156,000-163,800 words.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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